Who would have thought that the process of choosing a Kindergarten for my daughter would have ended up being so emotional & labor intensive? I certainly hadn't expected it. The problem was I was just going to put her into the same Catholic school in the county where my niece & nephew attended because I had gone there as a child too. But my husband & I were less than impressed with their attitude & academics. We felt like something was lacking but we stuck it out with the status quo anyway.
We knew there would be some process to finding a school because public school just wasn't an option for her. 1.) we live in the city with unaccredited school system 2.) our daughter's birthday is 13 days after the official cut-off so we would have to find a tuition-based school willing to make the exception.
We thought there would be no problem from the suburban Catholic school but of course they got a new principal. We attended the Kindergarten open house to see what we thought & again red flags were raised. They didn't already have smart boards in each class, science was lacking & there was not emphasis on foreign language until jr. high age. Plus, possibly out of nervousness, the principal misused or mispronounced 3 or 4 words. Not a strong showing for an educator. Her oldest was just in Kindergarten there & I found that to be a conflict of interest as well. The priest seemed less than engaged & even less helpful.
I had begun in September to email with my intentions, my daughter birthday, family history, etc. The principal always remained vague and never definitively told me what would ultimately be true: she was unwilling to make an exception for the fact that my daughter had been born 14 days after her due date. My husband likes to say that had she been born the last day of July or the 1st day of August as she was due, we wouldn't have had any problems. This to me is odd for a school not required to adhere to this state mandate.
But they allowed her to be tested & agreed she showed strong knowledge of the material & was pleasant & alert. Instead of saying that she didn't want to start her career as principal out by making exceptions and setting that precedence, she called me to tell me that my daughter wasn't emotionally ready (despite being in preschool for 2 years & simultaneously at Pre-K at their school and testing by her 2 teachers as well as a recommendation from her pediatrician who I think knows her better & is more qualified to speak to a child's health & well-being). I knew before they tested her that she wouldn't let my child in to her school so it was no surprise. What shocked me was that she told the administrator at the pre-K that she couldn't make an exception for a late birthday (another untruth). It is actually legal within her guidelines as she is not governed by the same laws that state run schools have and the St. Louis Archdiocese has an outlined plan for school that choose to make exceptions so they do not frown upon the practice. And it also shocked me that she would tell us it is because she was fearful that emotionally my daughter would end up having to be held back. The pediatrician was telling us that her verbal skills were off the chart! Her preschool teacher of 2 years said that she had no more immaturity than the oldest 6 year old in a K class. She also had the gaul to suggest we attend Kindergarten elsewhere but to come on back for 1st - 8th grades. Oh, okay!
Needless to say after several school tours we opted for a school at the end of our block. It only has preschool and Kindergarten so we will have to go through this process all again, but it has been eye opening and has lead me away from my lifelong belief in the St. Louis Catholic Education system. Actually we are strongly considering joining the Lutheran church my sister is currenly in the process of transferring her children to because her daughter was allowed to be bullied and treated like dirt at this same school. There is a sense of entitlement I don't dig & a lack of real community unless it revolves around CYC sports or drinking. There isn't an emphasis on community. Sure they bring in dollar bills or can goods a couple of times a year but they get dress down days or prizes for doing it so the essence of the excercise is lost & they are not being encouraged to go above & beyond academically or otherwise.
My daughter is thriving. I have been told that she listens well in class & that it is hard to believe that she is nearly a full year younger than her 4 other peers in her class (yes, 5 kids! woo hoo! and the best Kindergarten teacher - ever!). She is learning at a rapid pace & I am constantly getting updates on her great manners & her compassion toward her fellow classmates.
As this journey continues, so too will my reflections on the subject.
Ideas, ideologies & idiosyncratic behavior from this side of motherhood.
