Rory Rocks!

The day my daughter was born I wrote her a letter. I told her all about the feelings of anticipation we had been experiencing, how we couldn't wait to meet her. I had dreamt of her having long, brown hair & big, blue eyes. She had a pretty sashed dress on & was holding a balloon. Her birth was about to make us parents, creators of life, breeders, a real mom & dad to a human baby. It was beyond my comprehension until the moment we saw her for the first time & she screamed at us for the first time (this we would become very familiar with as time went by).

In the letter I thanked her for coming into my life, giving me a purpose, making me a mom, granting me the gift of experiencing love beyond anything I had ever imagined.

I didn't tell her about my hopes for her life because I felt those hopes were hers to have and she didn't need the pressure or set expectation from me, it may hinder her becoming who she was meant to be if I influenced her in that way from the beginning. Instead I went on to tell her about my hopes for me, as a mother, the expectations I held for myself as I embarked on the most significant journey I would ever take. I was about to become responsible for how someone else "turned out". O Lord! Me?! What was I thinking? So I let her know that parenting, for me, would have to be an on-the-job learning experience. There would be times when I might not know exactly what I was doing & she would have to bear with me. But through it all I vowed to  love her unconditionally, especially when I might not like something she had done, and I vowed to protect her above all else in my life.

I also promised her that there would be times she would hate me, she may even tell me so. And in those times I would have to remind myself that I was doing something right because it wasn't always going to be about making her happy. Sure, I will give the stock parental answer that I want my children's happiness above all else, but in truth, I want their safety & well-being. How can you be happy if you are injured or worse? In the letter I promised that there would be times she would forget she was my baby & she would be reckless with my child (herself) & I would be there to remind her that that was my heart & she had to be careful with it. I assured her that I wouldn't be her friend because that wasn't my job. I am her mom & although I hope to be her confidante one day as well, it was my job to keep her from being hurt emotionally & physically & to teach her not to hurt others. It will be my job to help to guide her into making good decisions, to show her just how important considering the consequences of her actions can be, to give her a sense of self-love & self-worth & to teach her that life is beautiful & fragile as most beautiful things are.

I've read the letter to her over the past 6 years & I've asked her to help me fulfill it, to keep my word to her.