Do what you love, even if there is no money to follow- Staying home vs. going back to work (for me)

I don't have a sponsored blog. I don't have a youtube channel demonstrating freshly prepared, organic meals I have created from my garden out back. I don't have pictures hung on the wall, or very organized closets. My house isn't usually as clean as I would like. I am not usually as put together or as thin or as energetic as I would like. I am not particularly great at keeping a budget either these days. There is no craft room in my house. I don't hand sew my kids' clothes or bake homemade bread. And I am a stay-at-home-mom.

I think there is a common misperception that stay-at-home moms have extra time in their day or extra energy. I can assure you, that isn't the case. I know lots of my workforce friends think they would be overly organized, aerobicized, and have it all together if they had the same amount of time that a SAHM does.

This past year I have researched heading back into careerland after an eight year hiatus. I have been weighing the pros and cons of going back. When sharing this with my kids and my niece and nephew (who I no longer have in my care after school or daily during the summers), no one liked the idea. At all. I had a little non-violent coup on my hands. No one was happy and everyone freely offered up exactly why they felt it was such a terrible idea. Even my husband chimed in with his reluctance to support my effort. Of course he brought up the most thought provoking point that made me reconsider what I wanted to do and why. He told me that they would support me 100% if this was something I truly wanted and needed to do for myself.

I contacted my former mentor. I had a few people contact me in relation to future work. And I sat and thought about if I did really want this and if so, why?

The truth is my youngest is going to school full time next month. And for the past year people have started asking me if I was going back to work when that happened. I hadn't really planned to but I kept being asked over and over again so I began considering it. Yet after searching my soul I like what I do now more than I have ever liked any part of anything I have done outside of the home.

I have exquisite children. They are beautiful inside and out. They are creative, happy, talented, funny, smart, interesting. I love being around them. We have our own little world together. I have only about 10 years left with this. If the first 8 years flew by this fast, these next 10 cannot possibly somehow slow down so it is all going to go by in a blink.

At the beginning I mentioned all the things I didn't have or didn't do. But I do have a beautiful house with lots of space inside and out for my kids to roam and play and create. I have two of the healthiest, happiest kids on the planet. They are best friends and constant companions. They never miss a doctor, dentist, or orthodontist appointment. They are both involved in competitive hip hop dance, STEM activities, and sports. They play instruments. I am the Girl Scout Troop leader. We go on lots of adventures taking advantage of all our city has to offer. My children are well traveled. They are thinkers. They consider what consequences their actions have on others. This has begun them thinking locally and globally. My daughter has been on a crusade for the past 3 years to help support the Ronald McDonald House. And my son has been planning a way for the past 6 months to start helping local food banks have the ability to share fresh foods with their recipients (he was 5 when he wrote his first email asking for help).

There are lots of kids of working parents who are out there making a great impact and achieving their goals on every level. But selfishly I want to be there with my kids, watching, helping, facilitating. And I am quite sure we could get done what we get done if I got a job. Heck, I might even be better at time management. When I think about why I have begun considering going back to work it is simply because of societal expectation and not out of desire. So does this make me lack ambition? I don't think so but I believe many others would.

As my kids have gotten older I have learned to do more things for myself. I am training for a half-marathon and completed one this past fall as well. I have been writing a series of children's books which I am in love with doing. I am considering taking some classes in the future while my kids are both in school. But mostly I love the thought of getting to be in the lunchroom volunteering while they are in school. I like getting to go to the classroom parties, every field trip, not have to coordinate anything if someone is sent home sick from school. I like dropping off and picking up from school daily. Because that IS my job. And I really like what I do.